Do you find yourself paralyzed when you think about opening your credit card or bank statements? Does the thought of tackling your financial picture seem unsurmountably overwhelming?
First off, know that you are not alone. According to a recent survey from Capital One and The Decision Lab, 77% of Americans are anxious about their current financial situation. Many of my clients come to me feeling the same way.
The first step in overcoming the overwhelm is to stop “shoulding” yourself. What do I mean by this? You almost certainly know that checking your statements could help make you financially more secure, and you feel like you should be doing it, but there may be practical or emotional factors holding you back. There’s way too much shame attached to money management, and it doesn’t help anything. Remind yourself that it’s OK if you’re not perfect at dealing with your money — most people aren’t.
Start with some these steps to get your comfortable tackling your money.
1. Try to understand what you are afraid of
Think about what is stopping you from opening your statements — it might be fear, worry, a lack of confidence, overwhelm or something else. It will be easier to face whatever’s driving your avoidance if you understand it. Maybe you’ve grown up with an idea that money is stressful or difficult to manage. Or maybe you feel like you’re not a good person if you have money issues.
Be as honest as you can with yourself about those drivers. The process of naming them will make a difference, even more so if you’re able to reflect on how realistic they are (many times they are not!).
2. Take some baby steps
One reason that opening your statements can be scary is that it comes with a lot of baggage. Maybe you have credit card debt tied to a vacation you took with an ex-boyfriend, or student loans that led to a job you hate. It is all too easy to ignore your financial picture when it can often be tied to very painful or complicated feelings.
You may also feel like once you look, you’ll have opened Pandora’s box and will have a mountain of issues to tackle, and that can feel overwhelming.
Opening your statements doesn’t mean you immediately have to change your spending habits or make a budget or become a financial expert overnight. It isn’t about making any changes just yet, it is about knowing where you stand and creating awareness so you can (hopefully) start to feel more in control.
3. See if you can flip the script
Instead of being fearful of your finances, tell yourself that it is empowering to open your statements and manage your money. You will ultimately feel less anxious if you put yourself in the driver’s seat and take action. Start making a list of all the reasons knowing what’s going on with your finances will make you feel good.
4. Give yourself a reward
For most people, sitting down to review your finances sounds downright dull. See if you can connect financial chores with something fun. For example, you might have a glass of wine or listen to your favorite music when you look at your statements.
If you have a spouse or a friend you trust, ask if they’ll sit with you while you look at your statement and then do something fun together afterwards. It doesn’t have to be expensive — it’s more about recognizing your achievements and finding ways to celebrate them.
5. Make it a habit
When you’ve overcome that anxiety once, the trick is to keep it going. Even setting aside five minutes a day or 30 minutes once a week to check over your accounts will help build that habit and help you overcome the anxiety and build on that progress.
Open that statement!
Many of us may have financial fears, and the right way to address them depends on your personality. If you can’t bring yourself to open your bank statement right now, set a time and date in your calendar. If you get paid regularly, you might opt to look online the day after payday when your balance will likely be at its healthiest.
Thanks for reading!